Maid by me

I reach for a clean rag and some vinegar. I spray the mirror. Always start at the top and work your way down.  I wipe, and dance my rag across my reflection. Face. I see my face, staring back. I look pale, and tired. But not thirty. Definitely not thirty.   I perfect the glass, so no smudges can be found.

I spray the sink.  I scrub with the rough side of my sponge. I rinse and dry and look for any flaw or blemish. I wipe down the cabinets. I clean the commode and the bathtub. I step back I am pleased with my work. I vacuum the floor and then I mop. Sometimes my mop is a microphone.. sometimes a dancing pole. 

 I whistle sometimes while I work. I sing. I talk to myself in my thoughts. I make plans, I debate. I write poetry and do simple math. I plan an escape to someplace warm and exotic. I pretend I am a sexy, vibrant movie star, playing a part of Cinderella. Then I come back to reality and realize I am in someones bathtub. People are naked here. I laugh at my silliness. 

 I pass the time this way. as I slowly meander through my work day. Room by room. House by house. Oh, how I would love to have a house! I wonder if these people realize what they have. I think about the gap between them and myself. Do they work any harder than I? Perhaps they are indeed smarter, but I have heart.   I fought, scratched and clawed my way to where I am and for what I have. It may not be much. But it is something. 

My body get tired and sore. Carrying in and out equipment and supplies. The Kirby.  I loathe the Kirbs. It has great suction, but it sucks. God bless all the rich people with Dysons .. they are so much lighter.

 I like looking at peoples photographs as I dust. Pretty things, come in and out of my hands; hands that hold ever so gently.  Careful not to break glass or trust. I do not take, only M & M's from the candy dish or some water if they offer. After all, who you really are is the you when no one is looking. 

 This is all for something better. I think. This is not for always, just for now.

It's that time.

It is that time of year again when I feel the urge to write. Sometimes something enlightening will hit me and I am in the car and don't have a pen, or sometimes I am laying in bed and the pillows are just right so I don't want to move and mess them up.

So I created a spot. A place of my own to write my private thoughts, and then make them public if I so choose.

It will be bedtime soon, and after the day that I've had, bed will be the highlight of today.

Tomorrow, I have the day off work but I have a lot to accomplish. I need some kind of motivational tool. Some sweet treat or peaceful feeling when I get where I am going.

I went to Walmart this afternoon. I was so depressed. Just being at Walmart adds to my malaise but aside from that I just couldn't shake the loneliness. Everyone that I make eye contact with seemed to be in a grouchy mood. Except for when I was in the shoe aisle and a small boy came up to me and smelled my arm. I said "hello there". He petted me again and turned back to his dad. Immediately I detected Autism.  Surely only a rude woman would ask "hey is your kid autistic?" So I waited till they passed me again and it my sweetest voice I said "Excuse me Sir, I was just curious if your son there was autistic?" He smiled and nodded Yes. I smiled reassuringly, and told him my son was too! We chatted briefly and then moved on through the shoes.

That kid had no idea how bad I needed that pat on the arm. Well then.

Its that time... time to get the kids in the bed.